Precious Thoughts: The Chronicles of Sadie (day 2)

July 16th, 2008

Focus Text: Psalm 139: 17-18 (NLT)

17 How precious are your thoughts about me, O God.
      They cannot be numbered!
   18 I can’t even count them;
      they outnumber the grains of sand!
   And when I wake up,
      you are still with me!

 

Stop Here and Reflect Before Reading Ahead

Well, I write to you from the hospital room again tonight . . . tired.  My beautiful wife, the real hero of this whole adventure, is beyond exhaustion and still trying to recover from her surgery.  Together, we are attempting to learn the art of parenting a newborn.  

Sadie’s doing great!  She hasn’t a care in the world.  I kid you not when I say that the child could win a gold medal in pooping!  She literally is the most beautiful little girl you’ve ever seen . . . and I dare someone to dispute me!

I’m sure that I seem quite silly to “experienced” parents because I really do still listen for her little breaths and I stir when she fusses.  I’m religiously keeping up with her “diaper reports” and the amounts and times of her feedings down to the minute and ounce.  She’s worn three different outfits today and I’m pretty sure she’s discovered that her fist is edible.  When she’s calming down, she coos and fusses as if she’s almost talking to you.  The tone of her cry is lower than a lot of the other babies around here who sound like little miniature ambulances.  Yeah, I’m pretty sure she’s going to have quite the singing voice.

There are a million other details about her day that I could share in such exact detail that you would probably find it comical.  Subtle shades of eye-color.  Tiny, dark hairs spread out across her delicately soft little head.  Feet the size of a four-year old and ears the size of a mouse.  The fact that her eyes are most open in the middle of the night and she often only opens one eye at a time during the day.  The list is already endless.

“Precious” is an adjective that Laura and I repeatedly shower upon our little darling.  Today, I went home for a few minutes to check on things and grab some stuff for Laura.  In the process of the short drive from downtown Nashville to Mt. Juliet, I bet my mind produced a million thoughts about Laura, Sadie, and our life together.  Some thoughts were the anxious apprehensions of a clueless new dad.  Some thoughts were the pragmatic mental lists of the thousands of little details that lie ahead that are still left to be accomplished.  Most thoughts, however, are just of Sadie herself and the wonder of her new little life.

I’m not “amazed” or surprised that she has toes, but I’m intimately aware of each wrinkle on her new little feet.  I haven’t technically learned anything about parenthood from her crying, but my mind can replay her little voice as if it were recorded.  My thoughts about her are more than informational; they are . . . well, precious.

When I read Psalm 139: 17, I begin to see God as more than just “God the Enforcer,” “God the Creator,” or “God the Savior” (though He definitely is all of things); I see Him also as “God the Daddy.”  Yesterday, I was cradling Sadie and basking in her glow and I actually prayed to myself, “God, is this really how you feel about me?”

Honestly, I hesitate to even mention these thoughts because so many parents have said these kind of things about God and parenthood to me.  I don’t want to be trite or unoriginal, but I genuinely pray that this concept jumps off the pages of scripture and into the very room of your heart that is most vacant. God is crazy about you!  It’s not just a cool concept or an effective sermon illustration; it’s plain as day right there in the Bible.

“How precious are His thoughts to us . . . too many to be numbered.”  Most of us cringe at the idea of actually knowing God’s thoughts about us.  We assume that He’s disappointed in us . . . that He’s shaking His head in disbelief over our constant stupidity . . . that He’s waiting for our next moment of misstep. As a man who has recently broken the plane of parenthood, I can assure you that these are not the kinds of thoughts I have for my little girl.

Now, I don’t wait to paint a portrait of a God who is perpetually elated to be the parent of a generation of whining spiritual newborns who never grow up into maturity.  I don’t want to be changing Sadie’s poopy diapers when she’s fourteen.  Is God disappointed in us at times?  Sure He is; all good parents are.  But there’s a huge difference between disappointment and disenchantment or detachment.  Our faults don’t separate us from the love of our Father– this kind of love is preciously biological in nature.

Tonight, I stood over Sadie’s bassinet and just watched her sleep.  Protecting.  Watching.  Listening. Smiling.  Planning.  Dreaming of her future.  She had no idea that I was there, but I most certainly was. And just as the scripture says, “when she awakes, I am still here with her.”

When you awaken from whatever sleep you may be in– temptation, insecurity, condemnation, fear, difficulty– rest assured that your Father has been watching you.  Patting your back when you stir.   Whispering in your ear when you cry.  Making sure you’re safe from outside dangers.  That’s the love of the Father.

How precious you are to Him; just imagine what thoughts He may be thinking about you right now. Sweet dreams.

 

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~ by johndriver on July 17, 2008.

12 Responses to “Precious Thoughts: The Chronicles of Sadie (day 2)”

  1. I have to say that was one of the best writings on new parenting I have ever read. Sadie is indeed the most beautiful newborn and I have never been so excited to be a part of a newborns life. I love you all so very much. I hope Laura is feeling less nausea. I hope to come and see her and Sadie tonight if I can otherwise I will visit your new family Friday. Give Laura and Sadie my love.

  2. Your description of “the poopie report” and the “how many ounces did she drink” bring back such fond memories. Yes, these are the very things you concern yourself with when parenting newborns. As they grow, it changes and the concerns are different but one thing never changes…. it’s the absolute, unconditional, no-limit love you feel for that child. I said this yesterday but the fact is that the love we feel as parents in its purest form is the same love that God has for us, except I know God loves us even deeper, if that can even be comprehended. God IS absolutely, obsessively crazy about us. He really is!!!

  3. I know that often parents joke about how their kids drive them crazy at times. But the truth of the matter is that we feel so much love and a sense of protection for them it’s hard to comprehend how we are capable of it. I have been encouraged as a parent that if I can have these feeling for my children, how much more God has feeling for me. When any of my kids come up for me to hold them, the love and warmth I feel can only pale in comparison to my Heavenly Father’s. Since having children, I feel like I’ve learned so much more about my relationship to God. I gotten a small glimpse in an earthly way of what God sees in a divine way. John and Laura, if you’ve ever doubted God’s love or acceptance of you, just think how incomprehensible it would be for you to reject little Sadie. That kind of object lesson carries you for a long time. Congratulations, Jenna and I are very happy for the three of you!

  4. Hey Drivers! We just wanted to send you our Congrats! She’s so precious and we can’t wait to meet her, Mitchell especially! 🙂 He’s already looking for potentials! HAHA Once you guys get settled in we would love to come visit and bring a meal! Tell Laura to hang in there, she’ll be back on her feet in no time! So glad to hear everyone is healthy and happy! God is good! Love you guys!

  5. I think this is my favorite one so far. I’m always being told about how God loves me, but I’ve never heard from a new parent’s perspective. You love Sadie so much that you know how much she eats and how much diapers she uses. You love her so much that you know the wrinkles on her feet and you can destinguish her cry from the other babies in the hospital. God loves us more than anyone can ever love. That means God loves us more than you love your precious baby girl. From what I can see, that’s a lot! More than we could ever imagine.

    That is so cool how you can tell your baby’s cry from other babies. That’s so sweet.

    I love you guys (all THREE of you)! Hurry up and get some pictures up=D. I can’t wait to see her.

  6. His love and grace is so Amazing! Thank you for painting such a wonderful picture of the love the Father has for us. It’s a love that is everlasting, eternal, and secure…like a parent who would never reject their child no matter what they did…careful, your theology might just be changing…

  7. Having a child leads to incredible revelation. There are some subjects that you can speak on, but until you have a child of your own, can not truly understand the depth of the meaning. Just as you stated about how parents have mentioned certain small details that you will notice with your baby….you can hear those ideas but didn’t grasp that true depth until you found yourself standing over Sadie as she slept and experienced those thoughts racing through your head. It’s a glorious feeling, isn’t it?
    You both have been such wonderful influences in my children’s lives and I am so grateful to my GOD that he led us to Life and have placed you in Drew’s and Bree’s path. They both have learned so much and although we are still fighting past demons in certain areas, I would not even want to imagine where we would be without your council, love and compassion for them. I trust you whole-heartedly with their lives and I don’t say that about many people.
    Although you have taught and prayed and loved in GOD’s glory in their lives…..the birth of Sadie will open doors for your ministry that have not yet been accessible. The experiences you will have in your parenting adventure will place in your heart illustrations to use in teaching our kids unlike any you’ve ever know. I have to say, it’s going to be AMAZING!!!!

    Thank you both for all your love and support with our children and I just say a prayer that GOD allows us to be a good influence in Sadie’s life and give us loving, helping hands to touch her life in some way. We love you guys!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  8. Sadie is going to one day enjoy reading all of these wonderful things you have said about her. She is absolutely beautiful and so precious. You and Laura certainly have been blessed. While I was at the hospital today, Lori and I was observing a new dad who had just brought up his newborn to the nursery just minutes after the birth. We watched in amazement his nervousness and anxiousness at the new journey he was about to experience. Since Lori and I are already parents, we knew he was a new father by simply observing him. Lori commented that there he was watching the new baby being measured etc. and the mom was in the room trying to recover from her delivery. She did all the work and was missing something that I’m sure she would have wanted to watchi My advice to you guys is to absorb and savor every minute because those minutes go by so quickly. Pressley was born in the very same hospital as Sadie and it seems so long ago. Take tons of pictures and record every memory. You think you will remember everything but you won’t. I even wrote down in a journal every day of my kids lives for several years and it’s so much fun to go back and read about things I had forgotten. Sadie is so precious and you and Laura are going to be wonderful parents. As she lays in that little bassinet, she has no idea what a wonderful family she is going home with. WE love you all!

  9. Man that was good, you are very blessed to feel and be able to convey that to others with a message. I love you.

  10. It is really weird to read a devotion like this! I constantly think that God needs me to do this. I have to help these people, or God needs me to grow in this area. It is a good reminder to hear that most of all God is our dad. He watches over us and just has so much incredible faith in us. Yes, we all disappoint him at times, but he never fails to watch over us at night, protect us, and love us. I am so thankful that you love me God, thank you for parenting in my life!

  11. Here’s the extent of my parenting advice (since I’m an expert now – HA!) – keep this blog and read it to yourself at least once a week for the rest of your life. It brought back memories for me, as I’m sure it did with every parent reading it, and as I read it, I could feel patience flooding to my bones. The things that make me nuts – like 7 year olds getting up at 5:30 every day and waking everyone else in the house, well, those things just don’t seem to be all that upsetting right now. I imagine if I would have kept a blog like this and read it every week, I would have had fewer moments of feeling guilty for sweating the small stuff!

  12. And i respond to that tear-jerking devotion with a very camp jackson-esque word: Amazing! Wow..that is really an amazing realization: God is our Daddy. I mean, i’ve thought of him like that before, but you really spelled it out perfectly, and you made it more real and more understandable, as a father should 🙂
    He knows us, loves us, watches and treasures us, and even when we mess up, he is just waiting there for us, waiting for us to run back to him and hold his hand again–he loves us too much to get angry for long. He wants us to stare back at him, and smile at him and talk to him, because he loves hearing our distinct voice. We’re his babies, and that right there comforts me so much.

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